how to have the life you want

In the fire + pictures from Costa Rica (including my boyfriend!)

A quick love letter from Costa Rica to share with you some of my experience here in this beautiful place.

First and foremost, for those of you who are most focused on the Eyes Wide Open business teachings, and not so much in the Raw and Real parts of what I share, I’ll warn you now that this love letter is a mix of both.

There’s a little business and a little raw/real happening in this love letter. If you are all business, all the time, you may want to close this one down now and get on to the next. But if you like the raw/real, read on and you’ll get some business goodness as a bonus.

I came down to Costa Rica a week and a day ago with my family, so I could speak at Envision Festival. I haven’t gotten all the pictures uploaded yet, but you can see a few on my private Facebook profile.

And here’s a quickie of the whole family as we were sending Melina, Lotus and the boys back home after Envision. The boys (men really at this point), are my son, Noah, Kaia’s boyfriend, Max, and my boyfriend (yes, I did just say that), Rainbow. Yes, his name is Rainbow.

Kaia and I stayed on for a women’s retreat with Jess Magic and Elena Meta, and in it we are exploring the elements, dance, voice and writing.

Today, the element was Fire. Breath of fire, dance of fire, sweat lodge, fiery food, and a fire ceremony to burn up whatever is ready to be released.

For me, it was the control paradigm and the last vestiges of my need to prove myself.

So, what does all this have to do with building your life and income awake, aware and on your terms?A few things …

#1: Integration of the learnings

In the past, I’ve moved so quickly from one thing to the next that I have not had time to integrate the learnings. Just last month, I went immediately from a private event at Esalen (called Return) to lead my Money Map Masters in a retreat and then immediately after that into a month of intense focus to prepare for me to be out of the office for two weeks.

This time, I decided to stay on here in Costa Rica for an extra week to attend this retreat with Kaia and to integrate the teachings and learnings from my time at Envision.

Taking my whole family to Envision was a big deal. It’s really a working event for me, not just a vacation. I’m there to speak and network, not just to hang out and have fun. And having the kids (particularly my 12-year old who still really needs a lot of me) with me was an added challenge.

But having them with me was also really fun and I had a lot of support from friends, as you can see in the pictures. Plus, I always feel really great when the kids get to hear me speak because I’m teaching some radical money concepts that they aren’t going to get in school or from the media, so I’m glad they are getting it from me and not just by osmosis, but consciously and intentionally.

#2: How to free yourself in your business

I’ll be gone a total of two weeks. Most of it off my computer, other than time to write a couple of emails, do Facebook and chat about a few things with my team via Skype.

A month ago, I was working like crazy. I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage getting out of town, let alone being mostly offline for two weeks.

So I decided to make the investment in hiring someone who could really stand in for me in both businesses and bit the bullet. I brought in Brenda Mathisen (most recently Chief of Staff for one of the PayPal investor/founders), spent a month connecting deeply with her and providing training and then left town so she could take over with minimal interference from me.

This is the counter-intuitive way to free yourself in business. Get the right person or people on board and then leave town. In the past, I thought I needed to hold on and oversee things for way too long. What I realize now is that was disempowering and indicative of my lack of trust.

By leaving town, I showed my team (and Brenda) I trust them and while I know some mistakes will likely be made, I trust them to learn, grow and evolve from those mistakes, which includes figuring out how to fix them when they happen.

Repeatedly, I have seen this with women lawyers in my New Law Business Model coaching program — they get pregnant, and if they coach with me ahead of their maternity leave to hire the right person then hand off systems with trust at the foundation, they leave to have a baby and come back two months later with a practice that is thriving far more than it would have if they had been in the office micro-managing every day.

Try this one yourself, even if you aren’t having a baby. Just plan a vacation and then actually take it. But do remember to hire a great person first.

#3: Death

The last thing I want to mention in this week’s love letter is Death.

Confronting the reality of your mortality will result in you having a better life. It is coming up in my reality frequently and I want you to start to consider how that might be true in your life.

Have you confronted your mortality? If so, have you planned to make life better for your loved ones after you are gone or are you starting doing that now? How is your own life getting better by looking at the reality of your own death?

I know this may not be an easy conversation or consideration for you, but it is an important one so you can make the very best decisions regarding the use of your resources that you possibly can.

If you want any support with that, please send me a message at alexis@eyeswideopenlife.com and let me know. It’s something I’m being asked to do more and more lately and I’m feeling called.

Love beyond,

Ali

PS — we have twenty new Eyes Wide Open members who are also B-Schoolers and I want to send a great big welcome to you all! If you have not already received your invite to our private member’s forum and requested to join, please check your email including the spam folder. Welcome! I’m excited to see you there.

My Birthday Prayer for You

Dear Friend,

I’m 41 today.

And am celebrating a quite successful 40th year.

I woke up this morning thinking of you, though… What could I possibly give you, or say to you to inspire you to BELIEVE, deep down in your soul, without a shadow of doubt, that you can have the life you want, the love you want, the money you want…

All of it.

I considered giving you a free course, or an ebook, or something else tangible, but want I want to give you is a prayer.

You know, I’ve done some crazy things in my life (shocking, I know). I got married at Burning Man. I’ve gone through bankruptcy. I’ve blown up million dollar businesses and rebuilt them. And I don’t regret any of it. The truth is that every “mistake” lead me exactly to the next level of my personal evolution.

I trust that there are more mistakes and more evolutions to come.

Having witnessed Barbara Marx Hubbard speak a couple of week’s ago – so LIT UP, and joyful, at the young age of 82, I am certain there’s more evolving and growing to do…

Here she is introducing me before my talk at Success 3.0… Talk about a surreal moment…

So here is my birthday prayer for you:

May you let go of fear – fear of failure, fear of judgment and criticism, fear of losing what you don’t actually have (namely security). 

May you discover the divine light within your heart that will guide you without fail to your destiny. 

May you come to understand that money is just an exchange of energy, and is infinitely replaceable. 

May you see that time is yours to harness, so that you are in complete control of the outcome of your hours, days, and years. 

I pray that you know love, in the deepest sense of the word. 

I pray that you fail – so you can grow. 

And I pray that you succeed – so our planet may heal. 

Will you do me the honor of sharing a gift with me on my birthday?

Take a deep breath.

I would love for you to look within and acknowledge one thing that you are tolerating in your life… just one.

Bring the vision of it into your heart and surround it with love, and ask yourself what small step you can take to make this situation better….

What can you do in the next 24 hours to take a stand for yourself?

Write it down. Do it.

There is nothing more that I would desire on my birthday than to know that you have more of what you want. And it’s the small steps that lead to the best outcomes.

I have so much gratitude for this life, and for you for sharing it with me.

Be blessed and enjoy the day,