Alexis Neely

I need the masculine to support me…it’s absolutely terrifying.

I need the masculine to support me…it’s absolutely terrifying.

I need the masculine to support me and it’s absolutely terrifying.

I was raised to never depend on a man.

From that place, I built million dollar businesses, and created a reality of not needing anything.

But, I kept getting stuck in the same place again and again – earning a lot of money, taking care of a lot of people with that money, and working a LOT.

Honestly, too much for me to be able to feel my feminine heart, most of the time.

I first confronted this reality by letting go of everything and moving to a farm for a year back in 2011.

One of the things I was shocked to discover when I did was that my ex-husband (my kids’ dad) showed up for me in ways I had no idea he could or would.

He showed up and supported me big time.

I see now that he never could show up for me before that because I had never made space for him to do so.

I always had it handled. I didn’t need anything. I had it. So, he became the needy one. And I was always in the role of giving.

It wasn’t until I dropped everything I had created and allowed myself to become vulnerable that he was able to step in and show up for me in a new way.

This morning, as I spoke to Dane Maxwell about the work he will be doing with women around connecting to their money and my work on this same topic, we got to the part of my process that is integral to bringing in what you need — being able to ask for it.

And he asked me to ask him for what I need.

At first I stumbled, I hemmed and I hawed, then I said a bunch of things that were a mask for the real thing.

He told me he felt disconnected, couldn’t really feel me and asked me to try again.

I became aware of the thing I hadn’t been saying. It was stuck in my throat. I couldn’t say it. It was way too vulnerable.

But then, I did. And as I croaked out what I needed, of course the phone disconnected right at that moment. Oh Universe, you are so funny.

When I called Dane back, I told him what felt nearly impossible to say.

“I need the masculine to support me.”

Oh Goddess, that’s terrifying. My mom told me never to depend on a man. She didn’t just tell me, she showed me what a bad idea that would be.

I’ve seen it again oh so recently as a man close to me has used power and money to his advantage and to the detriment of those who have surrendered to his care. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

In the face of that reality, how can I need the masculine to support me?

How can I ask for that vulnerably?

How can I remain in my power while I receive that support and not crumble under the generations of oppression and control that have made it not safe for me to need anything from the masculine?

I don’t have the answers quite yet, but I promise to share them with you as they come and as I open up to a new relationship with receiving support from the powerful men in my life.

Dane thank you for hearing my request and receiving it with such love and care. I’ll let you share your experience of what arose when you heard what I needed.

My question for you is how the feminine heart can ask for what she needs safely and know she is being vulnerable with a man of integrity who will not use that vulnerability to his own benefit and take from her in a way that leaves her worse off.

THANK YOU for being in this exploration with me. I see where it impacts every area of my life and is the next stage of my personal learning, evolution and growth.

Love beyond the beyond,

Ali

Tax refund, big payment or ignoring it altogether? My best strategies…

Tax time here in the US is just around the corner and you are either excited to be expecting (or have already received) a refund, stressed about paying or perhaps you are ignoring it altogether.

You can e-mail into alexis@eyeswideopenlife.com to let me know which category you are in and I’ll hit you back with some guidance specific to your situation.

My personal tax story is instructive for you, no matter which category you fall into.

I’ll be sharing some details over right here, so keep an eye out for my tax time insights.  Most importantly, I’ll be sharing the story of how I ended up with an unexpected $100,000 tax bill and how I handled it. Plus, what I did after I was audited that built me a $1,000,000+ business. Seriously, this is huge and applies in many areas of your life.

Today though, I want to share some tax time tips that could help you immediately:

 

  1. Tax time can be a wake up call to approach your finances with eyes wide open: see it that way and grow your income in alignment with your life.

Looking at the numbers of my life and business was terrifying for years. Rather than paying attention (which felt either obsessive or overwhelming), I decided I would just make more money so I didn’t have to really pay attention.  

That’s one strategy I see a lot of entrepreneurs who are scared of their numbers using and while it can work for a while, it will ultimately backfire on you and result in extremely costly mistakes, as it did for me.

The other option I see people using is to just ignore tax time altogether by making so little that filing taxes isn’t necessary.

Either of these options is not in alignment with the truth of who you are. Making so little that filing taxes isn’t necessary or making so much that you think you can just pay in advance for your mistakes are both avoidance strategies that take you away from the truth.

Face your taxes with eyes wide open, with regular monthly meetings with your bookkeeper (or yourself if you don’t have a bookkeeper yet), reconcile your books, categorize your expenses properly each month, and review your profit and loss — those are recipes for success.

If you don’t know how to do these things, hit reply and let us know. If there’s enough interest we’ll create a training.

There was a time I didn’t know how to do these things, so I just avoided it.  

Today, I have clean and clear systems to manage my financials that allow me to look clearly, use my numbers to tell the story of my business so I can make wise decisions and I can relax knowing I’m earning what I need, when I need it, on demand and there’s no tax time scrambling anymore.

 

  1. Use your refund wisely to invest in resources that create more in the world.

The other day, I supported one of my on-site team members to get his taxes done. He was going to go to H&R Block and they told him it would cost him $100 to do his taxes plus he would owe $300+ (because he is a 1099 independent contractor with us and that means he has to pay all of the taxes himself on his income).

I used Turbo Tax and deducted some of his expenses for him. We ended up getting him a $300+ refund from the taxes he paid via his W-2 job.

So I asked him, how are you going to use this money?

He told me he was going to buy parts for his car so he could make it even more tricked out.

A part of me cried inside. That’s consumerism at it’s finest.

Investing in tricking out his car isn’t going to create more of anything in his life or the world.

Instead, he could be using the money to invest in gaining a new skill that he will be able to use in service to creating more in the world.

I invite you right now to consider where you might be using your resources to consume more rather than to create more and what you can do to shift that with your very next investment, especially your tax time refund, if you are getting one.

 

  1. Don’t beat yourself up, rather commit to make changes and learn, grow and evolve.

Remember, we learn by making mistakes. Every challenge (including the challenge of managing the financials of your life with your eyes wide open) is your greatest opportunity to be more of who you really are. And you get to choose that in each moment.

Don’t beat yourself up. Trust that you are being shown exactly what you need to learn next. Our purpose here at Eyes Wide Open is to lovingly support you to see what you may have been missing up until now.

I hope these tax time tips have showed you how you can use even the most practical of life experiences to expand your consciousness and live your life awake, aware and on your terms.

With eyes and heart wide open,

Ali

 

PS — We started our Enough Course yesterday, April 6th. Everyone who attended had huge ah-ha’s and breakthroughs on their own awareness of what they have and what they actually need to have the life they really want. It’s not too late to join us for the rest of the sessions. If you would like to consider whether it’s right for you, send us a note (alexis@eyeswideopenlife.com) and let us know so we can send you a recording of the first session and you can check it out and see if it’s your right next step.

The Bad Advice About Credit That’s Kept You Stuck

I’m a little riled up as I write this.

I’m part of a private Facebook group and someone posted a request for guidance about taking out a business loan to support the next evolution of her business.

The immediate response she got back from 4 people was don’t take out loans for your business, don’t go into debt, and no debt = freedom.

This is the exact thinking that keeps so many people, maybe you, stuck in work they don’t love, chasing false financial freedom and wondering why they don’t have the lives they want.

Debt is not the source of your slavery.

Credit is a gift.

Used wisely, it can and will finance your learning, growth and evolution. And it can support you to create far more in the world than you can without resources.

In fact, part of the reason most of our country’s wealth is captured and held by the 1% while the rest get poorer and poorer is because we’ve been conditioned into focusing on saving instead of on leveraging debt and other resources to invest in ourselves and creating more wisely.

If you would love support with accessing credit and using it wisely, hit reply and let us know. We’re currently planning our next training on accessing and using credit with joy and we would love to know your biggest questions about this topic.

To your eyes wide open life,

Ali

PS — Tell me your story of using credit and being in debt by hitting reply so I can help you take your next steps beyond fear and conditioning. Better yet, give this one some thought and then tell me what came through: if you had access to $50,000 of credit at 0% for a year, how would you use it? What would you invest in? What would you create?