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The single most important factor to your success

The single most important factor to your success is focus, but not the kind of focus you think so bear with me here. Before you dismiss what I just wrote and close the rest of this email with a list of all the reasons you cannot focus, or do not focus, take a breath and stay here with me for a few minutes because I promise you what I’m sharing could be the game changer you’ve been seeking.

Before I share the secret to focus, I want you to know I understand why you may want to turn away from the idea that focus is the key to your success. Focus has been the most challenging part of my journey to creating what I desire in life and business.

While I’ve never had an official diagnosis, and do not intend to get one, I am quite sure I have ADHD (or whatever the current name or acronym for it is).

When I watch the #ADHDTikTok videos, I’m thinking to myself the whole time “holy shizzz, they get me!” 

And I’ve learned some new strategies that have helped me to uplevel my ability to move things forward, while also feeling gotten and understood, which helps me not waste any attention or energy on beating myself up, or wondering what’s wrong with me.

And, that my friend, is one of the first things I want to support you to know about the secret to focus. 

Focus begins with slowing down enough to notice your thoughts. So, take a minute right now, and notice your thoughts. Breathe in and listen to what your mind is saying beneath the words you are reading here. What is the narrative running in your head?

Beginning to listen to that narrative is critical because it’s driving you in ways that you likely cannot see, and which are taking you off your path, distracting you, causing the ADHD symptoms to ramp up (diagnosis or not, you know) and keep you from the success that you desire to have.

When you can listen to the thoughts in your head, you can begin to notice that there is a listener. There is something that is hearing those thoughts. What is that something? Pause for a minute and tap into the listener that is hearing the thoughts.

See if you can separate yourself from the thoughts, and become the listener of the thoughts. If you can hear the thoughts, who is the YOU that hears the thoughts? 

Ah, perhaps there is an observer of those thoughts.

That’s YOU … 

The thoughts are not you.

Recognizing this, remembering this, waking up to this is the very first stage of FOCUS. You begin to realize and recognize that YOU (the listener to the thoughts) are in control of those thoughts, and can direct your energy and attention wherever you choose.

But, first it does take recognition of these thoughts, so if you aren’t there yet, pause, breathe, feel, listen …

Okay, so now, drop the belief that you cannot control your thoughts because you can. And, your ability to control your thoughts IS the #1 determiner of your success.

Forget the stories and ideas and teachings that tell you that you must FOCUS on just one thing, and that you cannot multi-task and be successful.

That is NOT universally true.

I am a MASTER multi-tasker. I graduated first in my class from Georgetown law, and I studied for every exam with the TV on because that’s what worked best for my brain. Had I tried to study in a quiet library, I probably would have ended up in the bottom third of the class because that doesn’t work for me.

So stop listening to what others tell you is the right way to work, and find the way that is the right way for YOU. Yes, the YOU that is YOU.

The kind of FOCUS I am talking about is the FOCUS of your thoughts that impact your use of time, energy, and attention.

When I say FOCUS is the key to your success, it is not the traditional FOCUS of so many — Finish One Course Until Success, UNLESS that’s the kind of FOCUS that works for YOU. For some folks, it is … know yourself.

But, if you are a multi-passionate, fast thinker, quick learner, who likes a lot of things at once, then the kind of FOCUS that’s critical to your success is to take control of your time, energy, and attention kind of focus.

And, it really helps if you find something you are so passionate about from an aligned, purpose, fulfillment, meets your time and money goals perspective that anytime you are focused on anything other than that, you can easily bring yourself back to what matters because it’s so clear.

So, yes, FOCUS is the #1 factor to your success, but it’s not the kind of singularity of focus that requires you to only do one thing at a time. It’s the kind of singularity of focus that keeps your mind under control, focused on what you are creating, what you want, who you desire to be, why you are here, and what’s yours to do.

For me, today, what that looked like ….

I’ve worked on at least 15 different things today, as we prepare for the launch of our new Personal Family Lawyer brand, website, delightfulness, including: 

  • This newsletter
  • Multiple pages of website copy edits
  • Restructuring of calls with our lawyer ambassadors to talk with lawyers interested in becoming PFLs
  • Catch up call with one of my favorite former private clients
  • Call with our advertising team
  • Started an Instagram post I didn’t finish 
  • Made plans for dinner
  • Worked on details of a wedding I’ll be attending in Austin next weekend
  • Had a team call with the Eyes Wide Open team
  • Made arrangements for my dog to be walked
  • Ate food
  • Drank a smoothie
  • Said goodbye to a beloved leaving for a few weeks
  • Met with my financial team
  • Worked on a new quiz I’m designing for our Personal Family Lawyer firms to use in their communities
  • Finalized the manuscript for the 2nd edition of Wear Clean Underwear — the first book I published in 2008

There is no way I’d have been able to focus on all of this if I wasn’t clear about what matters, and stayed FOCUSed on what I am creating in the world. 

I’ve spent the past twenty years getting clear, healing family trauma/karmic wounds, repeatedly asking myself who I am, why I’m here, and what’s mine to do, crystallizing how my system works so I could work with myself, instead of against myself.

I share this with you because I have a sneaking suspicion that you have misinterpreted what it means to focus, and as a result you are sabotaging your success.

  • You are focusing on what you don’t want, rather than what you do.
  • You are focusing on what’s not working, rather than what is.
  • You are focusing on the wrong daily activities because you haven’t looked out ten years into the future, gotten clear on what you want to create, and worked backwards from there. 
  • You are focusing on worry, doubt, and stress rather than on gaining clarity or taking action.

Eyes Wide Open is about you making eyes wide open decisions with the support you really need from legal, insurance, financial and tax advisors you can trust, so you can FOCUS on the things that really matter … your purpose, your work in the world, your family and friends. 

If you want to be one of those advisors, watch the recording from my “Discover PFL” webinar hosted last week. Details below.

And, if you are a parent, and know you need to focus on some legal, insurance, financial and tax matters for the people you love, listen in on my podcast episode with Katie Wells, the Wellness Mama, details below.

And, if you have ever wondered how much to share publicly via social media, and whether over-sharing could hurt your business, or how to share in a way that has people able to understand what you are sharing and why, listen in on the SPEAK Session I did this week with Isabella Braveheart, Jolie Dawn and Amanda Goolsby. It was really good, and it’s available in Isabella’s 5-day challenge, which you can access here.

“Expression is scary. Speaking my truth isn’t always safe. Maybe I’m too much?”

I have felt these things time and time again. I bet you have too. This is why I’m inviting you to be a part of my dear sister/friend @IsablellaBraveheart’s FREE 5-day online challenge called SPEAK.  

Isabella does not do fluff. Life is raw, intense and unpredictable. So is @IsabellaBraveheart. Join us in the deep end – and SPEAK!

 Isabella will be hosting live daily Zoom calls with a juicy lineup of storytellers, artists, speakers and expressionists, including yours truly, to help you explore and embody YOUR expression more deeply. 

I will be speaking about  “The Power of Witnessing”  in one of many of Isabella’s FREE calls during the challenge and YOU are personally invited to join us. 

We kick off the SPEAK challenge on September 19th

Join us here—»

The Wellness Mama Podcast

It was an honor to speak on the Wellness Mama podcast Episode 568 starting at timestamp 4 minutes and 20 seconds in, if you want to get right to it because you are busy AF. 

In this episode, Katie Wells, the Wellness Mama, and I cover: 

  • The important things to think about from legal and financial perspectives, especially when you have kids!
  • Why it is so important to name guardians for your kids in case something happens and how to do it the right way; 
  • Important steps to put in place when figuring out guardianship and financial assets for your kids; 
  • What to know about life insurance and who to name as beneficiary (hint: not your kids); 
  • The importance of a revocable living trust for your kids; 
  • Why not to rely on social security for retirement (and what to do instead), 

And, a whole lot more …

And if you’re a lawyer, this episode is chock-full of guidance you can pass on to the clients you love and serve.

Listen here:

If you’re a lawyer and you missed the Discover PFL event last week, catch the recording below:

Discover Personal Family Lawyer®

Discover Personal Family Lawyer®

Do you feel overworked, unappreciated, and unfulfilled as a lawyer? Are you starting to think that practicing law may not be for you?

If you feel that way, you’re not alone.

The current law practice model is broken, and it’s leaving many lawyers disillusioned with their careers. And not only is the current model not working for you, it’s not serving clients either. The current practice model is set up to encourage lawyers to drag out conflicts and keep clients on the phone to bill more hours. This system also forces lawyers to be on call day and night and overwork for insufficient pay while never really getting to build relationships with clients and being undervalued and underappreciated.

I was once where you are—burnt out and unfulfilled from working in the broken system. I finally reached the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, and I decided things had to change.That’s why I created the New Law Business Model. I invested a million dollars and 15 years building and testing a law practice business model that gives lawyers complete control of their schedule and income while working with clients they love who love them back.

As a lawyer, I know you want to help people and serve your community while at the same time loving your work and being able to provide for your family. I want those things for you too. That’s why I hope you’ll watch the recording of my most recent event, Discover Personal Family Lawyer.

In this Masterclass I revealed:

  • How to become your community’s most trusted resource: their Personal Family Lawyer®
  • How to transform your law practice from the clients and work you hate to a fulfilling career that serves your life and the people in your community
  • How to build a successful law practice with a service you love to deliver, clients who are happy to pay you an average fee of $4,500 per engagement, and a proven process for getting hired 80+% of the time you talk with a potential client

Watch the recording here!

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