I spent a good chunk of my life wondering if I had enough, if I would ever have enough, and what would happen if I ran out.
Then, I let it happen. So I could find out.
After building two million dollar businesses, and realizing that there was something faulty in my internal foundation that no amount of success would fix or fill, I made the choice to face my greatest fear, let it all go, move to a farm and file bankruptcy so I could discover who I was, and what was really important to me, if I wasn’t letting my fear of running out of money drive my life decisions.
And while I was there, I discovered the Equation for Enough. At least one equation, which works really well, if you want to always know that you will have enough resource, regardless of what we are using as a medium for exchange.
So here it is, the Equation for Enough is this simple:
Learn to ask for what you need in exchange for what you have to give.
Master the equation for enough, and you’ll always have what you need. Easy, right? Well, not so fast. Because each piece of this equation seems to be challenging (if not impossible) for most people.
People don’t know what they need. There’s all this conditioning around need.
I don’t need anything.
I need too much.
I don’t want to seem needy.
So, as a result, we get disconnected from the truth of what we actually need. Which, of course, makes it really hard to ask for what we need.
And if you don’t know what you need, or if you are not in right relationship with what you need, then it’s going to be very difficult to ask for what you need.
On top of that, most people tend to be very confused about what they have to give. At least I was, for a really long time. And most of the people I’ve met in the world also seem to struggle with this one.
What do I have to give?
Oh yeah, I can give that, but it’s not worth much because it’s so easy for me to do. Who am I to do that?
I don’t really have anything to give.
If you don’t know what you have to give, or the value of what you have to give, or if you devalue what you have to give because it’s what comes easy to you, or because you didn’t earn it, then it’s hard to ask for what you need in exchange for what you have to give.
On top of that, most people seem to have a big problem with asking at all! For anything. Ever.
Oh, no, I couldn’t ask for that.
She’ll probably say no.
I’ll just wait until he figures out I need it.
No way! That’s way too scary to ask for.
We’re terrified to ask and hear no. So, we just don’t ask. And then we’re upset when we don’t receive. Or our needs come out sideways and feel bad to us and the people we wish would just read our minds.
There is a better way, y’all. Let’s practice relational hygiene when it comes to having enough. We really can do it.
Be honest with yourself about what you actually need. Be willing to see what you have to give and the value of it. And learn to ask, cleanly, for what you need in exchange for what you have to give.
Yes, you may get some “no’s” at first. That’s great! Keep asking, and you’ll keep learning, about the true value of what you have to give and how to convey that value. You’ll refine your communication skills. You’ll get more in touch with what you need.
It’s all good. This is how we learn to live together and create a world that truly works for everyone. It must first start with you standing in your own sovereignty, and knowing you can always have enough because you’ve mastered the equation — knowing what you need, knowing what you have to give, and knowing how to ask for what you need in exchange for what you have to give.
You’ve got this. ❤