I’ve been asking myself that near daily as they struggle w ear pain, vegetarian food, mosquito bites, no video games and rain and look to me constantly to fix it.

I brought them here so we can stop taking for granted the easy convenience of the things and food that cost far more than we pay out of pocket on a planetary level.

Learning about compost, rain catchment, sustainable food growing and being a family without all the conveniences we are used to having.

While I could live here indefinitely, my kids are not that into it.

At the same time, I see the kids who have grown up here thriving. Independent. Powerful.

And I see my kids growing too. Adapting. Recognizing their own strength. Learning from the other adults and kids here.

The hardest part is when I watch my son eat a bag of mono-crop farmed, GMO grown, pesticide sprayed and wrapped in plastic Cheetos that we brought in our snack bag, I feel shame.

It’s this addictive “food” that is destroying the planet and if I can’t even stop my own child from eating it, I feel helpless.

Sure, I could just not buy it for him, but at 12 he’s a sovereign being. He has money. He has choice.

And my choices up until now have led to him preferring “Cheetos” over just about any of the other amazing food here. For that, I feel sad.

My hope is that I can turn things around. That I can make better choices going forward. That I can be more aware of my impact on the planet.

My hope is that we can all start waking up and make better choices, together.