I’m at quite the interesting place in my life and business. I’ve been here twice before and both times before, I struck out.
The first time was in 2008, I had hit a million dollars of revenue in my first business for two years in a row and I had started a second business that was on track to a million.
I had published a bestselling book and I was ready to shift from my one-to-one service based law practice into spending all my time coaching other lawyers and educating families and business owners about the benefits of legal planning.
So, I sold my law practice. But, I did it all wrong. Instead of making any money on it, I lost $250,000.
By 2009, I had recovered from that loss and once again I had two businesses. They would bring in $2,000,000 that year.
I was appearing on national TV regularly.
House by the ocean, kids in private school, first class travel.
I was living the dream.
But, I felt trapped by the dream. It was becoming a nightmare. I couldn’t figure out how to maintain this dream AND be all of who I really am.
Heck, I didn’t even know what that meant. I just knew the way it was all happening looked awesome, but it felt terrible.
So I gave it all up.
It was a somewhat slow and torturous process, but by 2012, I had dismantled everything in such a way that while the businesses would earn $1mm that year, I was only earning $5,000/mo, living on my farm and preparing to file bankruptcy.
After the bankruptcy, I made the decision to rebuild, but on a whole new foundation.
As J.K. Rowling once wrote, “Rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
So for the past 2.5 years, I have been rebuilding. And facing all my old dragons. The one’s that led to my past successes and the failures that followed.
One by one, they have arisen.
The temptation to cut corners.
The temptation to abdicate my leadership.
The temptation to swing between micro-managing and not looking at all because I don’t know how to find the middle ground of true health.
The temptation to give away my power, again and again and again. And then be surprised when I’m not respected for that.
And each one I have faced and met and made hard choices and slayed the dragon. I have had incredible guidance along the way.
Now, I’m back on the plate. Right back where I was in 2009. The bases are loaded.
Last year, the two companies that support my work in the world did $2,500,000 of revenue (combined).
More than in 2009.
They were led by CEOs other than me, which was great, but ultimately not sustainable.
I used the time and space I was afforded by their leadership to grow up. To discover the truth of who I am. To upgrade a major piece of my work (in the form of the Money Map) that was screaming out for my attention.
And now, I’m back in the game. I am being called to step back into leadership. This time with the understanding of what it means to be a leader.
I feel a tremendous sense of resistance, uncertainty and fear. I can’t believe I’m right back here again.
I’m scared to death. I can feel my life being taken over again, just like it was pre-2009.
The count is 3 and 2. It’s the ninth inning. The score is tied.
We’re either going big or we’re going home.
I want to go home. The pressure feels way too intense. I am not sure I can really do it. I want to sabotage it like I did in 2008, when I sold my first business, and in 2010, when I shrunk everything I had created down to “manageable.”
Lost and confused, I reach out to everyone I know and trust for help and guidance.
I even call in my astrologer friends for answers.
And then tonight, I watched a video that caused it all to click into place. I dropped the resistance immediately. I saw the big picture so clearly.
It all makes sense now.
The resistance falls away.
The clarity rushes in.
I’m up at bat. Ready to hit it out of the park and bring all the runners home.
More details tomorrow …
To your eyes (and heart) wide open life,
PS — the video I watched is by one of my mentors, Justin Livingston. Justin has created a video series on mastering the art of building a transformational business that reminds me of exactly why I got into business in the first place and is exactly what I personally need to make the leap beyond where I’ve been twice before.
I’m ready to breakthrough this place I’ve been twice before and step into my next level. If you’ve got a multi-6 or early 7-figure business, you’re going to want to watch this video too.